Fun with CL “Musicians Wanted” spammers

So a tw** posted this ad, follered by our emails:
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Singer/guitarist seekingHello!
I play guitar, percussion, keys, and vocals.
That’s right; I play vocals.
And I’m hoping you’ll help my YouTube cover tune get to 300 views (aka “go viral”).
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ydqurXfnmWM

If you don’t like it, there are 26 other videos on my channel. Please watch them all. And tell all your friends.

Thank you.
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Me:
Spam sucks, and so do you.

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Him(?):
Hmmm… no links. Just as I thought.
Some “real musician.”
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Him(?):
Seems a little hypocritical, considering that spam is all your e-mail is to me.

Here’s an idea: why not send links to some of your musical work instead, so as to prove your superiority and self-proclaimed right to judge mine?

Or you could just keep on yakkin’. Because that’s all people like you do, “M.E.V.”
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Me:
You didn’t ask for other’s music, speaking of hypocrisy.

You simply spammed a forum for musicians to connect.

BTW, I didn’t bother to listen to your music – I’m not interested in your spam-product.

Oh, and I’m glad you are annoyed now, just as you wasted my time and annoyed me and other real musicians-seeking-musicians, not spammers-seeking-attention.

Thanx for the laughs, genius; have fun playing with yourself.
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Him(?):
Your “real musician” cred died as soon as you sent your first e-mail. What real musician – in a city the size of Chicago, no less – has time to comb the Craigslist ads and send e-mails in response tnd some CL ads deleted. But I honestly don’t recall one single e-mail like this, before yours. Lots of e-mails asking about my availability to play; lots of compliments from around the country. But only one purported “real musician” who takes time to rail on something that he himself admits he knows nothing about.

At least I’m doing something positive. You’re just a loser; a nobody with no music to offer, or even a name.
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Me:
And you’re just a spammer, with the intellect of a childish one at that. (I figure you to be between 14 and 20, without a social life but a very encouraging mommy who is proud of her little musician, she surely is. Now, keep trying to grow that beard and lose some weight and use deodorant and maybe a girl will talk to you for more than 2 minutes, and I don’t mean your mom.)

Anyway. good luck with your music “career” and your craving for attention and your ego and your used-Kleenex habit, you total rock-star, you; I’ll not tease you anymore as it’s clear you’re too dumb to get the message, even as you admit CL has already deleted your worthless spam on multiple occasions.

Don’t look for any further response from me, either, as you are just too boring to be worth any further effort.

On the other hand, …

… nah, you’re just too boring.
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carpal diem!

THD
vlayman
blog
vlayman.bandcamp.com
thehungrydrunx.bandcamp.com

Craigslist ads, answered

Looking for reggae musicians to jam with (Oak Lawn)

I’ve been reading through these posts and I can tell that none are a right fit for me, if people aren’t talking about what awesome gear they have, how much experience and the like… I use to play in a band in my teens, I’ve been playing guitar since then and I’m 30 now. I’m not saying I’m amazing, or even that I’m horrible also definitely not a beginner. I do want to play though, preferably in a reggae band, no instruments but you know how to play? No problem, I have a bass and what I believe is a good and loud enough bass amp, I also have a drum set, I play guitar myself but if need be I’m willing to pick up the bass. I work a Monday through Friday job and usually have to do some things after work so my day doesn’t end until around 7pm, two jam sessions a week would be cool, I know a lot of people want to play originals, well I’ve tried that and I’ve found I have a lot more fun playing covers, besides for people that I’ve never played with before I think covers would be better to learn first as a band and then work on any original work. With that being said, I like all types of music, I know a lot of people say that but I really do, but the music I like the most is reggae. I enjoy the culture, the bands and the positive message it usually tries to put forth. So hopefully there is some like minded people out there, bands that im currently listening to are Slightly Stoopid, of course Marley, and a bunch of other bands that I honestly don’t feel like listing out, if you like reggae, good people well at least me, smoking, dabbing, and just jamming hit me up.

I can play guitar or bass but looking for
bassist if any takers
keyboard
singer
drummer is iffy, I have a friend who plays drums but not sure if he’s down to play
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Oh yep, reg Cool gay

————————————————————————————————————————

Drummer wants band

Drummer ,older looking for Eagles,Doobies ,Journey,Boston,type band, you know the good music of the 70’s not the bullshit ones.Not looking to sit in a garage and jam, or get ready for your one big block party gig.Good equipment (because I can afford it) the right attitude (because I’ve been there) Transportation ( because people always seem to ask that…Duhh I own a vehicle) try to be a professional (practice at home come prepared) and on time.If you’re a serious band,(and not a bunch of dipshits) let’s talk. Thanks

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Oh yeah it would help if yer also a arrogant twat like me …


MOONSHINE HOLLER BAND IS HIRING NEW LINEUP (SOUTH)

MOONSHINE HOLLER IS AUDITIONING PLAYERS FOR NEW LINEUP FOR FALL AND 2017 . SEND CONTACT INFORMATION FOR A LIVE AUDITION, NAME , PHONE NUMBER , AND WHAT INSTRUMENT YOU PLAY , AND SOMEONE WILL GET BACK WITH YOU . THANKS AND GOOD LUCK !

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GEE, I WONDER IF THEY ARE A HIP-HOP BAND ….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Far south suburb guitarist looking for other musicians to form band.

Like the title states. I’m an experienced guitar player looking for other musicians to form a group with in the far south suburbs. The atmosphere will be laid back with no egos causing friction among others. I have a day job, and this will be to have fun and make good music, with some cash on the side for gigs we do. Also, the gigs will be paid, or we don’t do it (of course there are a “few” exceptions like a cancer benefit and such). Classic rock to modern radio hits that gets people singing along and dancing that everyone knows without the same songs every other band plays. Contact me if you’re interested
=================================

Yeah, man. I dig what the title states. The fact that you are in Peotone and that is over an hour travel and two counties south of city center super-qualifies you for “far south suburbs” – I love yer understatement. And yer so macho and  firm that we, “will be laid back with no egos causing friction among others” because, I am sure, that will be yer job, aiight. Altho’, please I know we’ll  make some shite music, too, what you will prob’ly want to. Lotsa gigs, right?  And yeah, we need big money except for the benefits we’ll do, like for “Our Guitarplayer Is a Twat Anonymous”. And I’m glad you narrowed it down to, “Classic rock to modern radio hits that gets people singing along and dancing that everyone knows without the same songs every other band plays” because I know exactly what you think I might think you don’t know what you mean. So, this is me, contacting you, like, I’m so fucking interested


Baptist Church Organist Available (Northwest Indiana)

Experienced Baptist Church Orgaqnist Available.

Church musician for many years.
Dependable, and professional,

I teach choirs, and play the Hammond Organ.
Contemporary as well as traditional, and hymns.

If your Church is in need of an organist / Min. Of Music.
please reply to this posting via email.
==================================
Please don’t ask me what’s a “Orgaqnist “, and why I’m suddenly available, and I jes’ wanna say that little boy is a liar …



carpal diem!

THD
vlayman
blog
vlayman.bandcamp.com
thehungrydrunx.bandcamp.com

Jes’ some gear-porn

Comparing some OD’s – the ones I didn’t mount. & a new verb, too.

Amp stackage

While I’m at it:

carpal diem!

THD
vlayman
blog
vlayman.bandcamp.com
thehungrydrunx.bandcamp.com

G.A.S.

Just picked up a 1×10 Blackstar extension cab to go under my Night Train 50, US$120 shipped. That head has been very nice for recording thru a Jet City 1×10 that is reserved for my Tiny Terror, but I can’t wait to get to use the NT/Blackstar live. Bought a Marshall double-switch clone for the channels and boost – works great! It’s like a 4-channel amp.

That said, the Night Train really gets close to the AC sound on it’s “Bright” channel, what was a sound I didn’t have.

And now I do. Cool

Also grabbed a Samson C-Control for about a half-a-C because my DAW (CEP2.1) and the Technics receiver (SA600) I monitor with wouldn’t do mono.

Spent 6 hours yesterday drinking bottled water and eating fresh-made ‘tater chips with the drummer touching up the mixes on 9 trax for the next MVx2 album, and I must say, the mono option reallly speeds things up, especially when persuading him that, the kick is actually loud enuff. Twisted Evil

EHX Nano Grail – my new fave verb.


_________________
bandcamp; vlayman;
THD; blog.
I mix with olive juice.

It was loud!

So I’ve a friend with some money, some of which he decided to spend forming a music company (f/k/a a “record company”).

His focus, this 55 y.o. Jew, is rap.

Last night I went with him and his friend/employee/bidness-partner to a show put on by a music college, SAE Institute.

I sat through 12 rap acts (two or 3 white rappers of whom 1 was embarrassing, and 1 was kind Bieberish, and 1 was fair and partnered with a black guy) a singer like if ya combined Sufijian Stevens and Erasure; two metal bands (technically excellent, not good writing, 7/8 white, a Latino bassist, one was extreme, the other very hard and AIC-ish), one RHCP-type act (fair, with a National Front-looking 6’4″ singer and a Latino drummer, the rest white), a very good female-led 80’s (think The Cure) pop band, and a guitarist with a looper (good with it, not a particularly good player).

I did not see the act I was there to, as I hadda catch a train.  Angry

Anywhat, it was a trip.

The audience was 95% black (mebbe 2-300 people), and 95% of the rap tunes used the words “”fuck” and “nigger”, repetitively;  I only heard “bitch” about 10 times.

It was loud, with lotsa synth-generated “bass-lines” and 808-type sounds.  The P.A. was awesome, altho’ the back-line was 2 Line 6 guitar amps, a Line 6 bass rig, and a Twin, real drum kit.

The (student) DJ on the P.A. was great, very pro, and the club’s (?) sound man was very good.

There was lotsa positivity, very little (relatively) gangster-shite, lotsa on-stage-dancing pbanana and it was loud.

Did I say it was loud?

As a muso, the sounds and song-structures of the rap tunes were interesting, altho’ it became very predictable in many ways, and the lyrics were often silly.

Rappers, to my eyes, are much about braggadocio, uplifting themselves and their stagemates and closest friends, and then their hoods, in that order. And over and over and over …

There was one female rapper, the female goth-pop singer and … that was it, other than the between-song MC and a female teacher who was like the producer …

Except, notably, the “roadies” were female.

Not a lotta drinking, but the street outside was filled with smoke, in the open.  Cool

One rapper got up and said he’d never worked with his stage-mate before, but the new guy was gonna be his “hype-man”, and so I learned what that was all about – made me kinda think of Morris’ guy, “Jerome” in Purple Rain.

I should add that we were seated in the VIP section above the main floor  , which made it much more tolerable on my ears and knees, because it was 4 hours before I left to get my train, 4 loud hours, and I never did get to see the rapper I was there to see, that my buddy has signed.  Sad

Sorry, EQ, hadda get my train.

But mebbe next time, but with ear-plugs (they were selling ’em from behind the bar, but after the first round I got, I never went back to the bar as my buds had my back, (and my tab   cheers).

And I probably said this before but, it was loud.

162.205.198.38

carpal diem!

THD
vlayman
blog
vlayman.bandcamp.com
thehungrydrunx.bandcamp.com

A simple descript of the song-writing & recording process

In answer to a question at LO, I posted:

To compare and contrast, I always start with the drums, hopefully ones I recorded (I have about 20 songs in progress that way), and more often than not lately I end up heavily editing same, adjusting sections that I then arrange.

Next – and it makes quite a difference in the result –  I write the song on bass or guitar.

Next – and it makes quite a difference in the result – I do the vocals and the whatever is not done between the bass or rhythm guitar, or the opposite.

When I do the lead vocal, I typically do the 90% of the BV’s. The lyrics may (10%) or not be already existent, so I write ’em if necessary about here. Same with the vocal melody.

Next is additional guitars, if any. Lately, I’ve been trying to get more than rhythm, some kinda melodic or harmony feature or counter-point thing here, also.

Next is keys, if any.

Next is whatever the “lead” is, usually guitar.

Then I do the sweetening.

I mix all along, altho’ I try to leave FX until the end.

Interestingly, I have found that I love to mix drums without gates, but drummers seem to prefer them; I like the livlier feel, me.

EQ is used as needed, but typically not until the final mix, pans are done as I go, same with edits and initial volume-rides, altho’ Granx can tell you I am very fond of “faders-up” until gain-rides are necessary for mix emphasis.