How Ya Know Ya Is a OLD Rocker

1. when ya gotsa decide which pair of orthopaedic shoes to wear to the show.

2. when yer mailing list includes yer cardiologist.

3. when yer groupies need wheelchair access.

4. when yer contract rider requires prune juice and Wipies.

5. when you never take yer hat off within 5 miles of any venue you play.

6. when the Emergency Services phone number is stenciled on yer road case.

7. when yer lyrics prompters is set to Extra-Large type.

8. when yer kids expect to be comp’d for free drinks.

9. when ya cover yer own songs from more than 5 bands ago.

10. when ya only go to after-show parties, after a nap.

11. when yer rack-effects include a defibrillator.

12. when ya burn incense in the dressing room to cover not the smell of sex and drugs, but old-man farts and breath.

13. when ya don’t recognize a single song the club plays on the PA within hours before yer set.

14. when yer the first owner of a guitar older than the soundman.

15. when the club owner calls you, “Sir”.

More mic babble

Asked re a new mic either as a 1st vocal condensor or as similar to a SM57, I posted at TOMB:

The AKG C414 UL B is said to be a good mic, but at $700 it may be more than you need to spend – BTW, ” To be 300 under a quoted price, after being discontinued seems rare” – hmm, not so much, mebbe.

If you really want a decent condensor for vocals, there are tons available at US$300 and even well under that price; I usually reco the AT4040 or the KSM27 for nuetralish, or even a CAD GLX3000. For an “older” type sound, I think something like an M-Audio Luna or Solaris, or the tube Sputnik. There are many tube mic’s, of course, but I’ve been very happy with the MXL M69ME that you can find used; I usually reco that as the easiest to find, most flexible inexpensive tube mic that “sounds tube-ish”, and I reco that means it could fit yer requirement for “old tone”.

Dynamics – again, there are many. Usual reco’s include the Sennheiser MD 421 (orig. or II) or really, just about any Senn MD mic; the 500 series handhelds I’ve used are all cool. The EV RE20 (I like the transformerless 320) or somewhat similar to what you already have but generally considered superior, the Shure SM7b.

I have never met an EV mic, other than broken ones, that I don’t like, and some of the handheld N/D’s sound great on vocals, even the 267, and all of the RE’s I have used have been very cool and kinda “old tone”.

I have only really used the Audix OM2, but like that, as well as the AKG D5. Those and the above EV’s are not totally dis-similar to the 57.

Also, XXX mentions the CAD M179 condensor and it is very nice and very flexible, and I have even seen it compared to the 414; it’s a great mic not even considering it’s awesome price. There is a cardoid-only version called the 177 that might be cheaper, yet. Altho’ I would mebbe feel weird calling any mic, “cute”…

Masturding

Asked about “at-home mastering”, I answered at TOMB:

You do realize your post may start a firestorm, right?

I’ll answer as a long-time bedroom recordist, too prolific to afford professional mastering myself, by telling you what I try to accomplish by engaging in what I call, “masturding”.

Your mileage will certainly vary, and what I do is certainly not “mastering” in the accepted sense, or mebbe even in any acceptable sense.

So:

First, I shoot for as much congruity in the 2-mixes (mix-downs) as desired, and “top and tail” the tracks, such that extraneous noise is gone, fades are perfect, etc. I usually like .1 second of silence at the head of every track – it just works for me – and I like to end tracks on a whole second number rather than a decimal, as it’s easier for liner notes.

Then, I decide on sequence.

Next I shoot for consistent EQ on the 2-mix of each song in comparison to the others, or at least the ones right before and after in the sequence. Starting places include high-pass (I usually do 40Hz as a default, fairly gradual shelf slope), and then stuff like “air” (10-12kHz, sometimes, gradual shelf up, sometimes, sometimes a wide peak, sometimes none – depends on the track) and mebbe cut mud around 350 or 450Hz by a couple db, usually at a Q of 1.3 – these are just figures I find I adjust sometimes more than others, as a starting place, with my material, ears, and equipment … There’s nothing the matter with using using similar settings most of the time, BTW, but you have to find them according to your given material, ears and rig. And you might not be able to …

Next I go for peak-limiting (I personally don’t mix into or apply compression to the 2-mix), usually setting peaks at -.3db (which ensures no digital overs in my DAW if I convert to *.mp3 or FLAC later), but always listening to the tracks in sequence to make sure apparent level is correct, i.e., that they sound consistent when played in order. You can’t use digital data to set average loudness levels because the average loudness of an acoustic number, for example, is usually gonna be lower than an electric number, digital data-statistically speaking. So, listen.

Finally, I listen to everything on various playback set-ups, ex., in the car, headphones, I-Pod, the kitchen and bathroom and den stereos …

And I start all over, or just adjust, as necessary.

Hope that’s helpful.

Re compressors

I poste at TOMB:

The slutz seem to prefer the WA, for what it’s worth.

I bought a 1176 Gyraf clone offa someone here – it’s awesome, tho’ ya gotta build one, at about the same cost as the Warm.

The Purple is quite a bit more $.

Not at all the same, but somewhat similar in being colored (tube make-up stage), is the VLA2. I like it sometimes, but find it noisy sometimes …

I also like the RNLA. I like it a lot on vox, and guitars, especially.

Simple compressor-color wise, a dbx 160 or 166 can be great, typically on bass and vox for me, altho’ the 166 can be excellent on stereo stuff like keys and acoustic guitar.

A DOD 866 is very similar, somehow related to the dbx 166, but a lot cheaper.

I really like Meek stuff, also, and the MC2 and C2 are tons of fun and I use ’em on everything.

You don’t ever hear about the Symetric 522, but now that I have one, you just did. I especially like it on electric guitar.

All of the above except the Gyraf are under US$300 used, some closer to US$200, and all capable of effective compression as well as some cool coloration.

Vlayman (Delso’s lyrics): “Invincible Mouth”

Invincible Mouth
c. ’15 Adrian Delso & Vlayman

Invincible mouth,
Wot a north-and-south;
Hampsteads shine like gold.
Invincible mouth,
Cummin’ north-to-south;
Chicago shines like gold.

CH:
Don’t he look great?
He can’t half plate!
Slapping it around her minge.
Don’t she look great?
Not cummin’ half late
Slapping it around her minge.

Flying through the air
With a boatrace full of hair
Talk about pen and ink.
Flying through the air
Nothin’s hardly fair
Talk about a faceful of stink

Never mind her chuff.
If you think that’s rough
Cop a load of her sudden death.
Never mind that chuff.
If you think that’s tough
Cop a load of her deathly breath.

Don’t he look great?
He can’t half plate!
Slapping it around her minge.
Don’t she look great?
Not cummin’ half late
Slapping it around her minge.”

Just add widdle and a CRS translator.

Drums: paul L_H2
Basses: Alvz-Brick-dbx160XT
Vox: GAPd2-VC1Q
Gtrs: G&Lf100-HaflerT2-ADAmicrocab-Summit
_________________
vlayman; THD; blog; TFP

The Hungry Drunx w/ Mark Cline: “Tension”

Tension
c. ’14 The Hungry Drunx

Let me tell ya
there ain’t nothin’ you can do for me
Let me tell ya
If you can’t see
_

One time ya told me
I remember this specifically
One time ya told me
You know how it oughta be

Oh baby baby did I mention? 3x
I’m filled with tension
_
Oh they used to tell me
I had some kinda luck to be me
But last night they told me
Move along son, there ain’t nothin’ to see

Oh baby, baby did I mention? 3x
I’m filled with tension

Drums: SNARL
Gtrs: Mark Cline (Geronimo Cowboys)
Bass: Jaco-Brick-dbx160XT
Vox: Luna-UA110-VLA2
_________________
vlayman; THD; blog; TFP

Vlayman: “Screamer (She’s a)”

Screamer (She’s a)
c. ’15 Vlayman

Tri-color hair and a adolescent glare
Jeans down to there and a tattoo
Razor sharp nails and wind in her sails
She’s gonna sink you, too

She’s a screamer
Ain’t no moaner
You can have her
I don’t own her
She’s a, she’s a screamer

Thigh-high boots with heels of 4 inches
Never wears a bra because she says they always pinch her
Skinny as she is you know that that ain’t really matter
You get to know her and she’s mad as Alice’s hatter

Keys onna chain you see goes into her pocket
Baubles and bangles and rings and things and simple silver locket
Mascara always smeared and you
just know that she can rock it

Neighbors will hate you when you let her hang around
3 ‘0’clock and 4 o’clock and she’s just starting to come down
They don’t get no sleep when the stereo’s so loud
You don’t get no sleep when she’s gettin’ off yer cloud

Drums: nettage
Basses: Alvz-ISA1-dbx16XT; HohnerFretless-LilBearBS1-VC3Q
AcGtrs: Martin-A6-UA110-dbx166A_AKGd5-UA710-166A
ElecGtrs: G&Lf100-Marshall-E609-UA710-SB23L-UA110
Vox: OM2-VCQ1
_________________
vlayman; THD; blog; TFP

Geronimo Cowboys: “Tacky”

Tacky
c. ’14 Geronimo Cowboys

_
I never felt this way
_
before
_
I don’t know how to tell you any more
I don’t know how to tell you
any more

_
You never seen me like this
_
before
_
You don’t know how to handle it no more
You don’t know how to handle it
no more

CH: It’s a part of our life
that’s been lacking
Everything we do
is just tacky

SOLO
Bridge

_
She never told me all that
_
before
She didn’t know how to tell me she ain’t want me no more
She didn’t know how to tell me
she ain’t want no more

CH
_
I never told her loved her
_
before
I didn’t know how to show her I loved her more

Drums& Guitars: Mark Cline
Bass: Alvz-UA710(tube)-Sym522
Vox: M500-UA710(tube)-RNLA
_________________
vlayman; THD; blog; TFP

Vlayman w/ Grankspoine: “A Certain Age”

Certain Age
c. ’14 Vlayman; derranged by Grankspoine

Standin’ at the crossroads of love
I’m either gonna love ya baby, or we’re just gonna fuck
You can’t say, any more than I, how it’s gonna go
And I won’t lie, at least not that you’ll ever know

This is how it is when yer just tryna make the grade
This is how it is when yer a certain age

Liein’ in the mainstreet of life
Never really tryin’ through the pain to get it right
Truth don’t make no difference to what or where
All that really mattters is that you got there

This is how it is when yer just tryna make the grade
This is how it is when yer a certain age

Sittin’ on the very edge of your bed
Thoughts are spining up and down in my head
Eyes are crossed and lies are crossed it’s true
All I gotta say it don’t pay to matter to you

This is how it is when yer just tryna make the grade
This is how it is when yer a certain age
This is how it is when yer just tryna make the grade
This is how it is when ya get to a certain age

Drums: nettage
Bass: P-Marlboro-DR-KX1-UA710.75tube
P-Marlboro-Brick-dbx16XT
Voc: SPtb1-RNC-RNLA
Gtrs, keys, horns: Grankspoine